Skip to main content

Rockin’ Around the Real Christmas Tree

Dec 05, 2014 12:49PM, Published by Peri Kinder, Categories: Arts+Entertainment




Now that we’re empty nesters, my husband has tentatively suggested that we destroy Christmas. We’ll be cuddling in front of the TV when he whispers, “Do you think it’s time we invested in a fake tree?”

“No.”

“But a real tree stresses you out each year.”

“That’s not stress, it’s the Christmas spirit,” I reply.

“I didn’t know the Christmas spirit was so grouchy.”

A real Christmas tree has always been the center of my holiday decorating. Growing up, we’d hang stockings, put out Advent calendars and display nativity scenes, but the season didn’t officially start until the tree was plunked into a bucket of boiling Mountain Dew. (We had the only caffeine-addicted tree on the street.)

After dad strung the lights and went to hide in his bedroom, we’d attack the tree like a whirling tornado, fighting over who got to hang favorite ornaments. Once we were in bed, mom and dad would redecorate and hang tinsel, one silvery strand at a time, on every branch.

I’ve carried on that tradition (minus the tinsel that would cling to our clothes) to create our own perfect Christmas tree.

Our holiday tree has never been a symbol of opulence. We’ve never had a Winter Wonderland tree with white fluffy reindeer frolicking through snowy silk ribbons, dangling with sparkly Swarovski crystals and silver-sequined snowflakes.

Instead, our tree’s branches are weighed down by homemade angels with ratted-out hair and lopsided halos, clothespin reindeers tangled around hand beaded wreaths, and South Park characters rubbing shoulders with the baby Jesus.

Decades of school photo ornaments hang amid the evergreen boughs, detailing years of missing teeth, questionable hairstyles and teenage angst. And loved ones who have passed away are remembered with ornaments ranging from dancing shoes to teardrop prisms.

Put together, it’s an explosion of bad taste that would make Martha Stewart cry. But it’s not just a Christmas tree—it’s a family tree representing years of holiday memories.

The finished product is only half of the story. Finding the perfect Christmas tree is a tradition/catastrophe I anticipate/loathe every December. Hence my husband’s misguided “fake tree” suggestion. He just doesn’t understand that a plastic tree is a soulless imitation of holiday beauty, and the first step to anarchy.

Each year, I schedule a day to pick out a tree, and, without fail, it’s the coldest, snowiest, iciest weekend of the month. My youngest daughter tags along to make sure I get it right and to help hold the tree on top of the car once the loosely-tied knots start to unravel—much like my mind.

We scour tree lots, looking for an evergreen that is devoid of bare spots, more alive than dead and not full of spiders. (Don’t ask. It’s a horrible holiday memory.) We also try to avoid tree lots managed by the town drunk. (That’s another Christmas/horror saga involving a leering, inebriated tree salesperson with a chain saw.)

Once the tree arrives safely home, we discover the 10-foot tree won’t fit into our 8-foot living room. We attack it with dull handsaws and scissors until it fits, and then, in a flurry of Christmas chaos, we adorn it with lights and ornaments, and top it with a rickety angel, balanced precariously on the highest branch.

When the dust settles, we’ll cuddle by the decorated tree, watching Christmas lights twinkle while the snow softly falls. It’s the epitome of holiday perfection. Until my husband whispers, “What do you think about having Christmas dinner at Village Inn?”

Could be a long, cold winter in our home.  



  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    03/24/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Whole Community Disaster Simulation

    03/25/2017
    09:00AM — 12:30PM

    You Are Invited! This game-style simulation will give you a first hand look at what you will rea...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/25/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/25/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/25/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/25/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/25/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    03/27/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    03/29/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    03/24/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/24/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Whole Community Disaster Simulation

    03/25/2017
    09:00AM — 12:30PM

    You Are Invited! This game-style simulation will give you a first hand look at what you will rea...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/25/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/25/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/25/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/25/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/25/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • Salt Lake City Gem Faire

    03/26/2017
    10:00AM — 06:00PM

    March 24-26, 2017, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State St., Sandy. Fri. 10am-6pm, Sat. 1...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    03/27/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • WJHS Football Fundraiser Top Golf

    03/28/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    Fundraiser to raise money for West Jordan Football Team. Come out and show your support for our ...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    03/29/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • The Global Energy Challenge: A Moral Imperative for the University Featuring: Dr. Daniel G. N...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    03/31/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • The best little shop for creative supplies is here! Join the nonprofit Clever Octopus Creative Re...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    04/02/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    04/03/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • West Jordan Dance Company Concert

    04/03/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    The West Jordan's Dance Company is happy to present their spring concert, "From Past to Present" ...


  • West Jordan Dance Company Concert

    04/04/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    The West Jordan's Dance Company is happy to present their spring concert, "From Past to Present" ...


  • Overcoming Fear Workshop

    04/04/2017
    06:30PM — 08:30PM

    When you think about who you want to become, do you feel overwhelmed and a little hopeless? Do yo...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    04/05/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Science Night Live: Symmetry And The Primes

    04/05/2017
    05:30PM — 07:00PM

    Symmetry And The Primes Assistant Professor Stefan Patrikis – Mathematics First we learn to...


  • West Jordan Dance Company Concert

    04/05/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    The West Jordan's Dance Company is happy to present their spring concert, "From Past to Present" ...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    04/07/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Live Your Dream Fashion Show

    04/08/2017
    11:30AM — 02:00PM

    The Salt Lake Soroptimist Club will host its annual Live Your Dream Fundraiser on Saturday, April...


  • April in Paris

    04/08/2017
    05:00PM — 06:30PM

    The American West Chamber Singers is excited to present their Spring Concert entitled April in Pa...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    04/09/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    04/10/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Relationship Workshop

    04/11/2017
    06:30PM — 08:30PM

    How easy is it for you to be happy if your important relationships are tense or brittle? If I had...


  • Seasonal Superfoods

    04/11/2017
    06:30PM — 08:30PM

    Your body is a tool to make you happy—to feel joy, passion, and creativity. It functions on the f...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    04/12/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    04/14/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


 

 

Online Edition
Follow My City Journals on Facebook
Advertise with us

 

City Journals 9500 South 500 West, Suite 205, Sandy, Utah 84070 801.254.5974