Skip to main content

Dan's Review: "Norm of the North" is a new kind of awful

Jan 15, 2016 11:17AM ● Published by Dan Metcalf

Norm of the North - © 2015 – Lionsgate

Norm of the North (Lionsgate)

Rated PG for mild rude humor and action.

Starring (voices of) Rob Schneider, Heather Graham, Ken Jeong, Colm Meaney, Loretta Devine, Maya Kay, Gabriel Iglesias, Michael McElhatton, Bill Nighy, Salome Jens.

Written by Daniel R. Altiere, Steven M. Altiere and Malcolm T. Goldman.

Directed by Trevor Wall.

GRADE: D-

REVIEW:

One of the “joys” (I’m using sarcasm quotes) of being the parent of girls (I have three of them) is dealing with the toy/video marketing schemes that permeate their culture. For instance, the folks at Mattel were genius enough to know that if you make Barbie into a computer-generated cartoon, you could sell more dolls by churning out countless feature-length “Barbie” movies directly to video. These “movies” (again, sarcasm) contain low-quality scripts, bland music, and low-quality animation. What does this have to do with Norm of the North, out in theaters this weekend?  I will explain later.

Norm (voiced by Rob Schneider, who has finally proven that he can find work without the help of Adam Sandler) is an arctic polar bear who can’t hunt, but for some reason can speak human English. When an evil developer named Mr. Greene (Ken Jeong) decides to put condos in the arctic, Norm decides to go to New York and to use his gift of communicating with humans to convince them that arctic land development will ruin his home. When he gets to the Big Apple, Norm discovers that his grandfather (Colm Meaney) who was thought lost, is imprisoned there by Greene, having tried to stop the development before. With the help of a few lemmings, Norm convinces Greene’s marketing director Vera (Heather Graham) and her daughter Olympia (Maya Kay) that the condos are a bad idea. Norm and his grandfather must stop a shipment of condos from arriving in the arctic to kill Greene’s evil business deal.

Now, back to Barbie.

Norm of the North is a new kind of terrible. It’s so bad that the only chuckle-worthy moments (for kids) involve farting and peeing. One joke about homosexuality was bad enough to sense a collective groan among all adults in the screening. 

The script and story seem to have been written on a napkin during a lunch break, lacking clarity, humor or structure – while swinging and missing at global warming.

The animation is lazy enough to rival most Barbie movies, making most of them seem like Citizen Kane in comparison.

Norm of the North was indeed planned as a direct-to-video release. It should have stayed that way, or perhaps never left the lunch napkin.


Norm of the North Trailer

Arts+Entertainment movies movie reviews Animation
  • Get into the River Festival

    09/25/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    09/25/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/26/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/27/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    09/27/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/28/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • R.C.I.A.

    09/28/2017
    06:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Instruction Classes

    09/28/2017
    07:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/29/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    09/29/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Fall Bulb & Native Plant Sale

    09/29/2017
    01:00PM — 07:30PM

    Find a wide selection of flowering bulbs, organic garlic bulbs, ornamental grasses, flowering per...


  • HCS Fall Festival

    09/29/2017
    05:00PM — 08:00AM

    Hilltop Christian School's annual Fall Festival is a great time for the whole family. Pony rides,...


  • Worldwide Day of Play

    09/30/2017
    10:00AM — 02:00PM

    Saturday, September 30 | 12 – 4 pm Included with Admission or FREE for Members Every year, Nic...


  • Fall Bulb & Native Plant Sale

    09/30/2017
    01:00PM — 07:30PM

    Find a wide selection of flowering bulbs, organic garlic bulbs, ornamental grasses, flowering per...


  • Community Square Dance

    09/30/2017
    07:00PM — 08:30PM

    Join us for a Community Square Dance Party with the Rocketeers! We're a Square Dance Club that's ...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/25/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    09/25/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/26/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/27/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    09/27/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/28/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • R.C.I.A.

    09/28/2017
    06:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Instruction Classes

    09/28/2017
    07:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Get into the River Festival

    09/29/2017
    08:00AM

    Celebrate, restore, recreate and explore the Jordan River Corridor 16 cities, 3 counties, 30 d...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    09/29/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Fall Bulb & Native Plant Sale

    09/29/2017
    01:00PM — 07:30PM

    Find a wide selection of flowering bulbs, organic garlic bulbs, ornamental grasses, flowering per...


  • HCS Fall Festival

    09/29/2017
    05:00PM — 08:00AM

    Hilltop Christian School's annual Fall Festival is a great time for the whole family. Pony rides,...


  • Worldwide Day of Play

    09/30/2017
    10:00AM — 02:00PM

    Saturday, September 30 | 12 – 4 pm Included with Admission or FREE for Members Every year, Nic...


  • Fall Bulb & Native Plant Sale

    09/30/2017
    01:00PM — 07:30PM

    Find a wide selection of flowering bulbs, organic garlic bulbs, ornamental grasses, flowering per...


  • Community Square Dance

    09/30/2017
    07:00PM — 08:30PM

    Join us for a Community Square Dance Party with the Rocketeers! We're a Square Dance Club that's ...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    10/01/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/02/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • Attend the YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast

    10/04/2017
    07:30AM — 09:00AM

    You are invited to our Annual YMCA Camp Awards Breakfast at Gallivan Hall in downtown Salt Lake C...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/04/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • R.C.I.A.

    10/05/2017
    06:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Instruction Classes

    10/05/2017
    07:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/06/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • Art for the Arts

    10/06/2017
    05:00PM — 08:00PM

    Support Granite School District art programs AND save up to 50% off framed, limited edition art. ...


  • Boo Fest

    10/07/2017
    09:00AM — 11:30AM

    Element Dance Pancake Breakfast Fundraiser - Come enjoy a yummy breakfast with lots of entertainm...


  • Kickoff your Halloween celebrations by planting a spooky miniature garden in this special Garden ...


  • Free Anti-Bullying Class

    10/07/2017
    10:00AM — 11:00AM

    Gracie Barra Sandy hosts a free self defense class once a month on the first Saturday of every mo...


  • Community Square Dance

    10/07/2017
    07:00PM — 08:30PM

    Join us for a Community Square Dance Party with the Rocketeers! We're a Square Dance Club that's ...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    10/08/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/09/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/11/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • R.C.I.A.

    10/12/2017
    06:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • Instruction Classes

    10/12/2017
    07:45PM — 09:00PM

    Has your child, grandchild, friend ever ask you why Catholic believe this or do that? Can you exp...


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/13/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


  • theBRIDGE Church Grand Opening!

    10/15/2017
    10:00AM — 11:30AM

    Join us this Sunday at 10am @ the Daybreak Community Center in South Jordan, UT!


  • FIT4MOM Murray Stroller Strides

    10/16/2017
    09:00AM — 10:00AM

    FIT4MOM, the nation’s largest fitness program for new moms, has arrived in Murray. Stroller Strid...


 

Online Edition
Follow My City Journals on Facebook
Advertise with us

 

City Journals 9500 South 500 West, Suite 205, Sandy, Utah 84070 801.254.5974